Plasticity - thoughts behind the music
Plasticity
—my first completely self-produced album
Amidst pains of polarized rigidity, the artist pursues our innate ability to adapt, reconnect, and heal. She expresses raw human emotion through a mix of folk-rock and orchestral sounds, reflecting the bonding strength of sensitive flexibility.
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1 month ago, my husband and I celebrated 15 years of knowing each other. I got out our "over the years" photo album and have been reminiscing and finding joy and gratitude in one page each day. We have a peaceful home, and we have each other.
5 months ago, my extended family learned of the devastating loss of 2 of 3 of my cousin's amazing children, and began the difficult grieving journey. Though I am a bit removed from the direct effects, I still feel the pain deeply and mourn with my family.
Joy and pain.
Death and life.
Friends, life has sweet moments to hold onto, and at the same time, life is so tragically hard.
It's as if what Jesus announced is true: heaven is here now, but not yet in full... and all of creation groans in the pain of waiting.
There are moments when we can't do anything to fix what's broken. Love take over.
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I created these songs while isolating in solidarity with my sister and her family... while trying to make the best of a hard situation and wishing the hard situation would end, while it seemed many were moving on without us, trying to keep things the same. But it wasn't the same.
We wondered what life would look like after... how we could move forward while still grieving so many layers of loss… on top of other losses.
But that is the hope of plasticity: the compassion found in how our minds were made. That with a little flexibility and redirecting, we can adapt, make new connections, and find some level of healing. That new life can come after loss, trauma, or tragedy, while not negating the reality of that pain.
That maybe a new type of community can form, and still be holy and good. That maybe a God called Love is found in the middle of the mess, trying to put us back together enough to take another step forward. That maybe we can surrender to it all; maybe we can just be.
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While there were some definite challenging, frustrating, and tedious times in it, I have loved the creative process of bringing these songs to life!
I got to play electric guitar again. I got to create with instruments and sounds I haven’t had access to before. I got to bring music I heard in my head directly to the song as it came to me. It was like a grand experiment: What can I do with the tools at my disposal? It was one way I answered the call to "just be" who I was made to be. Amidst a big “pause,” it brought my soul to life.
As hard as it was, no other year or life situation would have facilitated a project like this. That's the plasticity I've been finding since 2020, and the plasticity I hope for us all.
Like life, Plasticity EP is not perfect; but in it, I find beauty. I learned and grew a lot along the way.
I intentionally left some things raw: in some moments you can hear an unrestrained difficult emotion that makes my voice waver. In an auto-tuned age; other producers may have chosen a different take to have a more polished product. But real life is not that way.
I have found some healing in the midst of creating Plasticity. As you listen, I hope the same for you.